The Mortal Micronotz Interview Jan 8 1985.

A brief note about the band. Formed about three years ago in Lawrence, Kansas. They are perhaps one of the finest group going today. From a primitive beginning they have developed into an awesome musical force that must be reckoned with. Their roots are the stooges, sex pistols and bands of their ilk. But they do not mimic these bands. Over the past few years they have developed their own unique style. So without further ado we start this rare inteerview that takes place on a cold night with the band stuffing themselves with chinese food at the Group productions condo.
Stupid: When is your new vinyl out? I hear you have a new song called "Born to Kick Ass" on a new california compilation album.
Steve: That's right it's a minute, seven second song. The producers only wanted material under a minute.
John: The new album should be out before school's out.
Jay: It has about 13 songs on it.
Stupid: Where was it recorded?
All: Ramona. Same as most of our other material.
Stupid: What about your new EP, what do you think about it.
John: in a monotone (as if reading off an idiot card) It's great, it's the best thing we ever put out. It really captures the essence of the Micronotz.
Stupid: This is your second Gold Record right?
John: I thought it was black.
Jay: Yeah it's not gold it's black.
Stupid: Oh dummies you're supposed to agree. That way people think you're big, like Michael Jackson and they'll rush out and buy your records.
John: Oh yeah...that's right it's gold.
All: Yeah it's gold!!!
Stupid: So your set is all new material since you've added Jay, your new singer?
John: That's right.
Steve: Actually we have one old one from the latest EP. When we put together the EP we really didn't have the song all together and we thought it was worth getting together. So we put it back together with new lyrics.
Stupid: John how much did you pay for your new guitar?
John: 200 dollars.
Jay: It was too much.
John: (pouting) No it wasn't!
Stupid: Since the Micronotz have a new singer why don't you introduce him to our readers.
Jay: Everybody knows what I do but me. I'm Jaaayyyyy....Jay Hauptli.
Stupid: He's the only member with hair on his face. He's probably the only member of the band that can grow hair on his face!
John: Well he's old...he's 25 years old.
Stupid: So why did you get such an old man who's over the hill for your band anyway, huh, huh????
John: Cause he's a great lay.
Jay: He he, it's the only way to get to the top.
Stupid: Why didn't you get Iggy Pop?
(Faceless voice): Because Bill didn't try hard enough.
Stupid: What did he say?
John: He said Fuck Off, I wouldn't be in your band for a million bucks. No not really...
Steve: He's too loose for us anyway.
Stupid: So, has Mr. Hauptli been in any other bands besides the Micronotz?
Steve: No, he's got a cool virgin palate like Madonna.
Jay: God I guess I'm gonna have to answer that. I'm from Nebraska from Grand Island...
Stupid: What are you doing in Lawrence...
Jay: Going to school.
Stupid: Do you have your masters degree?
Jay: No I'm not that bright. I'm just a good ole boy from the flatlands. I've always, you know, played in bar bands.
Steve: Come on, tell the truth...he was in a Dead band okay! We admit it we're sorry.
Jay: I did play with some Dead heads for awhile.
(Faceless voice): Didn't everybody!
John: Pretty lame state...
Jay: We did lots of "Status Quo" and "Bob Seger" covers. Budgie, you know?
Stupid: Are there any plans of a tour with the new Micronotz?
John: Well we're all in school except for Dave and he works. But we'd like to get one together for the summer.
Stupid: So now is the band called the Mortal Micronotz or just plain Micronotz?
John: Well it changes every record.
Steve: Yeah, you know, like "The Rolling Stones". Some people just call them the Stones.
Stupid: You do look like Keith Richards.
(Phantom vioce): Are you junkies like the Stones were?
John: David is!!! (Laughter and a stern look from Dave)
Jay: He likes leather too.
Stupid: Who's the sex symbol of your group? Every group has a sex symbol.
Jay, John and Dave: Steve is!!!
Stupid: don't you usually find the Drummer usually is. Don't you find this to be the case John?
John: The drummer's an asshole!!!
Stupid: Isn't that pretty much the same thing?
John: Well in this case we consider ourselves lucky that we have a drummer that's a sex symbol and an asshole.
Steve: So true.
Stupid: Are you becoming more comfortable with the band now Jay?
Jay: Yeah, I'm having fun. It's okay...they just play so fucking loud.
Jay: Well I couldn't take it. I mean you'd begin "Around and Round" and I'd be singing it like Chuck Berry and I'd stop and go...oh wow...they're doing it like a Dead song.
Stupid: When Dean quit, did you guys know you were going on or were you thinking about calling it quits?
John: I don't know, I mean we knew way ahead of time that Dean was leaving. So we had all summer. So when he left we just sorta played around. But I guess we knew we were going to form back the band.
Stupid: Did you audition new singers?
John: Not really. It's sort of like, Jay just sorta showed up at this practice.
Stupid: Was he drunk?
Steve: Usually, no. He just walked into the house while we were having a practice.
Jay: I walked in and took over man!
Steve: Well, he walks in like he knows what he's doing and grabs a hold of the mike and says, "Hey listen I can sing" and he starts singing.
John: Hey it was great...he had this gold suit on.
Jay: Gold lame, let's get it right!
John: He sort of came through the ceiling in a cloud of smoke.
Jay: Don't forget about the angels!
Stupid: So is he your father figure since he's the oldest Micronot?
John: Yeah, he's our daddy.
(Phantom voice): You mean you dumped Bill then?
Steve: Huh?
John: Yeah we dropped Bill as our father figure.
Jay: Being in a peer group is tough.
Dave: He's the driver now.
Steve: Well what really happened is that he came in and started singing and we couldn't hear him over our playing so we figured he was the perfect man for the job.
John: He was somebody we could push around.
Stupid: So what's the title of the new record?
Jay: I'm playing guitar too.
Steve: I think we're going to call it "Music Doesn't Pay."
Jay: It's either that or "Well Hung Jesus."
Stupid: Let's hear some of the titles.
Steve: Proud to be a Farmer is one of them.
Jay: I'm personally responsible for all those damn words. You see I got a T-shirt that said, I'm Proud to be a Farmer, and we figured it'd make a good song title.
John: We had a song without any words.
Steve: And about ten minutes before that we were talking about this stupid T-shirt. John suggested we call the song Proud to be a Farmer.
Jay: So I went home and wrote the lyrics. (he laughs)
Steve: So when it came time to do the song he came up to us and said....
Jay: Welp, here's Proud to be a Farmer!
John: He wrote Run My Life which he did with his old band.
Jay: "Crazy Legs Jay and the Brick Throwers".
Stupid: This was in Nebraska?
Jay: Yep.
Steve: He hasn't learned how to deal with the fact that we don't make any money.
John: Yeah he wants to be rich.
Jay: Well I'm used to playing these gig like Sylvester's Bowling Alley and Grill. Shit man, you'd pull in five or six hundred dollars a weekend.
Steve: And he has to realize that with us...on a good weekend we'd go five or six hundred dollars into debt.
John: We played in Salina, Kansas. It was pretty strange.
Stupid: Did you have a good turn out?
Steve: Yeah, big crowd for the first four songs. By the time we got done there were about fifteen people left.
Stupid: How did it get set up?
John: Jay's little brother set it up.
Stupid: Did he like the band?
Jay: He's so fu...don't get me started. (everybody laughs) All you're going to do is get me upset.
John: Ahhh.
Jay: The little fucker. Oh well, next question.
Stupid: What are some of your influences? Come on tell us...people want to know.
John: A lot of Procol Harum.
Stupid: What does Steve say?
Steve: Duran Duran of course.
Stupid: You're lying Steve, you guys have been around longer than Duran Duran. Let's not fuck around with the crowd out there.
Steve: Uh.....why don't you move on to Dave, let me think about this one for a while.
Stupid: Okay David, what are some of your influences?
David: Aerosmith.
Stupid: Honest answer,honest answer. How about you Jay?
Jay: I used to listen to Dean 24 hours a day. Copied his style. I figured I'd go after the best. I want to be just like him.
Bill: Why don't you ask them how they got their name?
Stupid: It was a comic book right?
John: It was a toy before it was a comic you dumb ass! It was called Phil. The fifth Micronot. The infamous fifth Micronot.
Steve: His body parts are scattered throughout an old home that David used to live in. The name came from the smoke house...need we say more?
Stupid: So Bill how did you discover the Micronotz?
John: Please don't talk to Bill. He's only our manager.
Jay: Bill planted a flag and it was squarely on John's head.
Stupid: So Steve we're still waiting for the answer to that question of influence. Tell us the truth now.
Steve: Well, I.....uh...
Stupid: I'm getting ready to call you a liar so you better answer truthfully.
Steve: Well I mean I enjoy a little of everything. I really enjoyed some Red Hot Chili Peppers recently.
Jay: I was from Nebraska and I was the first kid on my block to own the Sex Pistols record.
John: Jay's just hipper than thou.
Stupid: Well, we might as well tie this up. Bill's looking at his watch, that means they've got to go now.
John: Hey not me! I'm not leaving for another half hour.
Stupid: Well we're wrapping this up. Thank you Bill. Thank you Micronotz for the first interview given since your rebirth. Now get the hell out of our condo.

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